Tomorrow is my birthday.
One of the weird things about getting older, is that I stop and think about life in general. What has changed in the first 20 years of my life. I look at myself, and I am just a college student, home for the summer, working full time, and not at all certain about life.
I compare that to a few years ago when I was in a very different place, eighteen years old, in the military, and having a set career and a goal and purpose to work towards. Yet I can still be happy where I am at today. The world is still there, waiting to be grasped.
But I think about it, and I have already lived a fifth of my life, if not a fourth. And that scares me. I fear death like I fear no other thing on this earth. It is so unknown, yet so permanent. And time is so irreversible. The years are slipping away... and one day I will wake up and just be able to look backwards, because there are no years to look forward to. Already, my childhood and teenage years are past me. I can only look back on them with fond memories. Life is too short. The Bible reminds us that it is a fleeting shadow, a breath of wind, a wave on the shore. It is here but an instant, then gone forever.
One thing I desire here on this earth, and may this be the goal of this next year of my life, as well as the rest of my life: I don't want to waste my life. Every second is precious. Every second counts. I want to make the most of every opportunity to find joy and fulfillment in this passing shadow I call my life.
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